Dear Penthouse Lyrics

Dear Penthouse
Rodney Carrington

Dear Penthouse: I�m a freshman at a small Midwestern university
And I never thought something like this could happen to me
When my teacher with the dynamite ass, asked me to stay after class
And she started to undress
I can�t forget the statement she made
If you drop you pants I�ll raise your grade

(Girl) Dear Penthouse: I never thought those letters were true until
I was on a fishing trip and I met a girl named Jill
We had a little too much to drink
I couldn�t believe what I was starting to think
So we headed to her tent, there�s nothing like eating out
Though the next morning my mouth still smelled like trout

Chorus
I�ve read every issue since 1974
The first two years behind the bathroom door
I poured through every Penthouse I could find
Even though my mom said I�d go blind
Dear Penthouse: I�m a seaman first class at an overseas naval base
It�s been seven long months since I�ve seen a woman�s face
When I saw your recent issue, I took a box of Kleenex tissue
And I locked the barracks door
Thanks to you I�ve gotten a grip, please excuse my jerky penmanship
Chorus
Dear Penthouse: Doing sports on the radio has always been my job
I�ve never wanted a man until I noticed BOB
When we�re close I start to perspire
His little buns set my loins on fire
And I dream about the day he�ll say, �Chick� lets get undressed
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