You know that eddie had a bad connection
Never had a chance to ball
Sleeping in the wrong direction, baby
Dreaming he was ten feet tall

But now eddie the eunuch is a rock and roll critic
Sucking like a super star
Slicker than a shoe-shine
Quicker than a two-time
Eddie what a thang you are

Eddie makes a damn good livin', baby
Putting other people down
Eddie couldn't ever forgive them baby
'cause he wasn't jackson browne

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