... But I Don't Want To Talk About Her Lyrics

AUSTEN
I write poetry
Romance, usually
I�m very romantic
(laughs)
Wait, I�m tough too
A romantic, tough guy
Yeah, sorta like Rock Hudson�
But straight.

This one time, I wrote a poem for my ex-girlfriend
She said
That�s the best thing I�ve ever read
And she reads poets, yet
Yates, Cummings, you name it
She�s got all these guys bouncing round her head

MARCIE
She sounds great

AUSTEN
She has an insight that could win a Pulitzer Prize
There�s in genius in her mind that truly sparkles through her eyes
She�s so smart, to be near make�s your intelligence rise�
But, I don�t want to talk about her

So, uh, what do you do?

MARCIE
I�m a photographer.

AUSTEN
Wow, okay. What kind of stuff do you do?

MARCIE
I try to capture the beauty of the human spirit.

AUSTEN
Speaking of beauty, that reminds me of my ex-girlfriend
Oh, she was gorgeous, but she never really knew it
She had this smile, I swear to God
You were blessed if you had one chance to view it
She had a look that could inspire symphonies
Or cause the most stubborn men to have epiphanies
She was as enchanting as Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany�s�
But I don�t want to talk about her

MARCIE
So, you have an ex-girlfriend?

AUSTEN
Ugh, I don�t want to talk about her.

MARCIE
Oh, right, sorry. There�s some things I don�t want to talk about either.

AUSTEN
Like what?

MARCIE
I don�t want to talk about the fact that I
Can�t seem to find a single guy
Who meets all my desires

AUSTEN
That�s fine. Maybe we could talk about�

MARCIE
I don�t want to talk about how many men
Have claimed that they would be the one
And it turns out they�re all liars

AUSTEN
Now, Marcie�

MARCIE
I don�t want to talk about the day when I
Experimented with my girlfriend
And I almost came out

AUSTEN
We can talk about that if you really want to.

MARCIE
But there�s always something missing
Now matter where I search
But, that�s not what I want to talk about

AUSTEN
Oh, man� you�re kind of a whiner.

MARCIE
I�m sorry, but wasn�t it you who spent the first half of this conversation talking about your ex-girlfriend?

AUSTEN
How dare you bring up the topic of my ex-girlfriend?!

MARCIE
Yeah, but you were the�. WHAT?!

AUSTEN
Who is gorgeous and brilliant, by the way.

MARCIE
Yeah, I heard.

AUSTEN
You know, I�m trying not to think about it and you throw it in my face?!

MARCIE
Throw it?!

AUSTEN
Now I�m all upset, and it�s the fifteenth time today

MARCIE
Less than I would�ve guessed.

AUSTEN
I�m not the type who runs or hides

MARCIE
I see.

AUSTEN
I follow my plan
Follow my guides

MARCIE
No matter how misguided they may be

AUSTEN
You�re wrong.
I know we�ll be together
Forever
Besides
I don�t want to talk about her

MARCIE
Obviously.